Sometimes, hearing from old friends brings such a joy that it just fills you up inside. Other times, you’re left with confusion.
I am torn.
My old friend texted me the other night. It wasn’t the first time we have spoken since I became a believer, but we’ve only been in contact a handful of times these past few years.
My friend made a comment to me.
“I liked the magicky, witchy you much better than the bible-thumper you.”
I tried to make light of it and replied that the magicky, witchy me had been gone for a long time and that I didn’t remember thumping anyone with my bible. Each time we text we update each other and I try and update this friend about how I’m doing and what’s happening in my life. A lot of how I’m doing leads back to Jesus. I never thought about that as “bible thumping”, it’s just an update on my life.
Each time we text we update each other and I try and update this friend about how I’m doing and what’s happening in my life. A lot of how I’m doing leads back to Jesus. I never thought about that as “bible thumping”, it’s just an update on my life.
On one hand, I am happy and that comment does give me peace inside because it means that Jesus has changed me. Other people who knew me before, see the changes. The old me did die and I am a new creation.
What no one tells you, is that this new creation you become retains all the memories of the old. The memories don’t die, though I don’t think I see them in quite the same light anymore.
That comment also tears at my heart. It’s like saying to a drunk, “You’re more fun when you drink.” I’m sure there are many people who liked the old me better. I pretty much did whatever people wanted with no thought to the consequences.
By preferring the old me, my friend preferred the girl who:
- hated herself and found ways of hurting herself
- refused to think for herself, allowing others to command her
- lived in a fantasy world in her head
- couldn’t deal with her own emotions or the past
That was the “magicky, witchy” me that apparently was just more fun to know. Who wouldn’t want to spend their time with a fantasy?
It tears my heart because my old friend is pretty far from God at the moment.
I will pray for you even though you told me not too. Jesus waits for you with open arms even though you turn your back…for now.
Why did you prefer the old me who cast spells and called on different aspects of the One God? Why was THAT okay to you but me praying to God as a Christian, as one who follows the teachings of Christ, not okay? Does Christianity offend you because you know in your heart that it’s true? Why do you want to keep me from the truth? Or is it more that you just don’t want to admit your own sin?
I’d like to say, that next time I speak with an old friend that I’ll tone down what Jesus is doing in my life. I mean, I don’t want to come across as a bible-thumper, one of THOSE people!
But THAT would be a complete lie.
I’m proud to have Jesus in my heart, at the center of my life. I’m proud of just how much I’ve changed. I’m learning to let go of the past, what has been done to me and my own shared responsibility in it. Little by little, but it’s happening.
And if you want to know how I’m doing and what’s happening in my life, I’m going to tell you in truth.
And more than anything else, my old friend, I want you to experience God’s great mercy and grace. The peace He will fill you with is indescribable. I want you for Him, for eternity. This life doesn’t have to be all there is. You say you don’t like losing any old friends, then answer Him! He’s calling you, then you won’t have to lose any….ever.